The book is an astonishing account of one woman's experience of love and loss. The author explains the premise of suicide and how it pivots on a fatal logical flaw. Her life has been saturated by death. The first boy who proposed to her shot himself in the head at the age of 16. Michael VerMeulen, her great love and the legendary American editor of British GQ, overdosed on cocaine at the age of 38. And then her brother, gone. Presenting an eloquent case against our understanding of depression and bereavement, she poses a profound question: If death is a process and not a state, how does that change the experience of grief?